By age fifteen, your high school daughter or son is now on the threshold of independence. His or her conscience, and most of the moral and ethical values are in place. The etiquette fundamentals required for most social interactions are established, and your child is almost, but not quite, ready to face the world on her own terms.

The high school years are marked by many milestones. Chief among them, dating and maybe first love, jobs, driver’s license, and possibly first car. Physically, teenagers will reach or come near adult stature in these years, and by high school graduation they will look like adults. Emotionally, they are still unsure of themselves in many new situations, but their self-confidence is growing and will, at times, display itself in assertive and even rebellious behavior. A high schooler’s maturing intellectual skills lead her to new heights of contemplation. The proper behavior that you have taught for so many years will now be put to use as she makes her own judgments in new and unpredictable situations.

Some teens rush toward adulthood, but for most, high school is a time of ambivalence. They want to make their own decisions and are quick to demand more freedoms, yet they still need your support, advice, and some hard rules. As a parent, your job is far from over, but it requires rethinking and retooling as the reins of parental control are loosened. There is still much for you to teach!